How NOT to choose a church...

Joining a church is one of the most significant decisions in a Christian’s life. The New Testament makes it clear: there is no such thing as a “churchless” Christian. Believers are called to commit to a local church where they can grow in holiness, build relationships, serve, and worship alongside fellow Christians. While there are valid reasons to choose one church over another, sadly too often our decisions are driven by consumerism rather than biblical convictions.

1. Do not choose a church based on demographics

One troubling trend I have observed is the tendency to choose (or avoid) churches based primarily on the age or ethnic demographics of the congregation. As a pastor of a smaller (but growing), older (but becoming more balanced) church, I have seen firsthand how this mindset harms both individual believers and the church as a whole.

It’s natural to seek connections with those in similar life stages—whether in age, family situation, or interests. However, when these preferences dictate where we worship, we undermine the very nature of the church. The church is not a social club organized around affinity groups; it is the body of Christ, made up of people from all backgrounds, ages, and walks of life. Choosing a church primarily for social conveniences weakens the church. (1 Corinthians 12, Galatians 3:28, Ephesians 2:14-16)

2. Do not choose a church based on personal preferences

Scripture does not command us to find a church that matches our personal preferences. Instead, unity in the church is founded on the gospel of Jesus Christ and a shared commitment to biblical truth. (Acts 2:42-47) Christ is building His church through the power of the gospel, not through cultural similarities, personal comfort, or life-stage alignment.

"Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel." Philippians 1:27

Too often, we prioritize our own desires over the purpose of the local church. Whether it’s a preference for a certain music style, or even extracurricular activities (yes, I once met someone who refused to join a church because it didn’t have a softball team), this consumeristic approach treats the church as a commodity rather than the family of God. Does that church have a worship band? Do they have a slide that goes down to the children’s wing? (Yes, I’ve seen one of these first hand). Does the men’s ministry have a fantasy football league? Can I contribute to a ladies cookbook?

Instead of asking, “What does this church offer me?” we should be asking, “How can I serve and contribute to this church?”

3. Do not choose a church on the present

Over the years, I have encountered many young families who said they would join our church if there were more children. Ironically, I have heard the same reasoning from family after family, year after year. If those families had stayed, our church would now have exactly what they were looking for. Rather than searching for a church that already fits your preferences, why not be part of shaping the church’s future? Instead of leaving, commit. Invest. Be the catalyst for growth in that congregation.

There will not be one local church that meets everyone’s preferences. However, God has never designed it to be like that. That mindset makes the church all about oneself. That is a sinful and prideful way to approach a people that he has purchased with his own blood. (Acts 20:28)

That church that you didn’t think would be a big blessing to you is missing how you could’ve blessed them. Don’t rob others of a blessing because you didn’t like what they were at the moment.

Conclusion

There are valid reasons to choose one church over another—but they must be rooted in truth, gospel faithfulness, and a biblical vision for the church. Our commitment to Christ’s church should stand in contrast to the way the world joins organizations. We are not consumers picking a product—we are disciples called to a community.